Remember that one day
You said you will never let a single tear leave my eye
And you said you shall make me happy everyday for the rest of my life
Remember when you said
You will make me feel like I am the luckiest girl alive
To make the world jealous of us being together
You said that we shall marry one day and have kids
You will accept me for who I am
Love each of my flaws
Well, promises are meant to be broken.
I am at my lowest. I thought broken heart can be fixed but I was wrong. My heart was alrd shattered into thousands of pieces, I can barely breathe yet I still can put a smile on my face bcs I dont want ppl around me to be affected by the negative vibes. I laugh when they laugh, I still can talk jokes w them, but my soul was not there. My mind wandered somewhere else. All my emotions are mixed up. Angry? Sad? Disappointed? Depressed? Man, idk what to feel. I thought we were okay but we dont. I hide all my disappointments bcs I dont want you to feel that I was such a nuisance. But I guess I am really a nuisance, right from the start.
So yeah, degree is less than few days, I can feel the tense is rising up, almost suffocating but yeah. This battle is gonna be tougher cs I can tell that these ppl that got accepted to USM are no joke. They came from A-level, matriculations, even diplomas.
Honestly, as a matriculation graduate, I feel nervous.
I came from a normal daily school, not SBP nor MRSM, completely normal. When I got offered for the matric programme, I know very well that I'll be facing great students from great schools with superb brains and so on. Yeah I feel so small in KMPP bcs most of my friends came from MRSM, SBP etc. Everybody knows that these students are very smart. I thought that I won't survive in this tight competition, knowing that these ppl are the high achievers in their schools.
I almost felt like they looked down on me everytime they asked which school I came from. No joke man, they made me feel humiliated. Or maybe it was just my inner thoughts bcs I know they were nice ppl. It's not like I felt humiliated bcs of my school or that, bcs typically ppl will thought that students that came from SBP and MRSM are the smartest. Same goes to the adults, they made us think that way.
Plus, theseee adult thought that the matric programme was a waste and "buang duit" and "nanti kena lelong la" and I was like "hang tk rasa hang diam la bodo". You go ask la ppl from matric, they had fun or not??
So yeah I struggled and tried my best and Alhamdulillah I achieved a result that I can be super proud of.
But then came these ppl.... "pandai blh la" or "ala kau mmg pandai tk bljr pn tkpe"eh setan kau mmg la tk nmpk aku belajar tp kau ingat aku tk blajar ke????????? Seriously these type of people should be stuffed into a coconut shell and be thrown into the pacific ocean. They were implying that I was born genius like seriously dude, you have no freakin idea how much I as well as my friends struggled bcs people said "nanti kena lelong".
Dapat matric pn hina, dapat result gempak pn hina. Orang mcmni blh gimamp0s.
Back to my story, so yeap I know USM is one of the top uni in Malaysia and they have great students from all over Malaysia and this make me nervous. Same feeling that I had before I went to matric.
Wish me luck guys. Oh ya fyi I got accepted into USM Kampus Kejuruteraan, Bachelor of Aerospace Engineering with Honors.
And yes, it's located in Nibong Tebal, surrounded by kelapa sawit and sawah padi.