I used to be a surrealist. I live in the fantasy world, created by my own imagination. Everything happened the way I wanted. People around me? Heh. Too busy with their own life, forgot that I existed. Some of them even tried to hurt me in every possible way they could find. This is why I don't really attached to people. Luckily there are some of them whom I can trust, but that wasn't enough to drag me back to the concrete reality. Love has always been dissapointing to me, falling in love with the wrong person, or maybe fall too hard when it's too late. Nevertheless I never hated love. Maybe it's just not the right time. All these time I was living in surreality, being comfortable in my own cocoon. Yet I always feel that half of my heart is somewhere out there. But I was afraid. I can't handle another heartbreak. So I acted like I'm heartless and shut the door out. Afterall living in fantasy is fun.
Somehow God always has His plans. And one of it was you. We were fated to meet, but not as lover at first. We were given time to get to know each other before you really crushed down those brick wall of mine, sailing through those iced-chocolate sea to save me from the irrelevant world of fantasies. You were the alarm that woke me up from these dreadful nightmares. You managed to melt my iced-cold heart which had been so cold to love before. Tbh I never had any crush on you but somehow those feelings just came without any notice and the next thing I had fallen so hard on you. You showed me the meaning of love that I never thought before and it's just beautiful.
Of course the sun will not always shine bright. Those days when things went out of our expectations. And I almost lose you. Those dark moments when everyone tried to tear us apart. The most painful part was I thought you gave up on us. When you're not. You just didn't know what to do bcs everything was just so fcked up. I was lost during that time, can't even think straight. I can't afford to lose you. That was the time when I looked on the bright side, thinking that afterall, this is the fight that is worth fighting for. So instead of grieving, I tried to make things clearer for you and eventually things just got better.
But I almost lose hope bcs of that tragic event. I remember telling you that I will always love you but I can't afford being hurt at the same time. I almost fell into my dark old pit when you managed to grab my hand and reassured me that our feeling is mutual. That you still love me and it gets deeper day by day. Again I'm allowing myself to love you wholeheartedly.
We were tested with so many things during our early phase, one of it was the hardest I can ever imagine. Yet we managed to passed it with tears and shattered hearts. Well come on people, bring it on. We will literally bazooka-ed you.
Really, boy. Being in love with you is not that easy. But it was the best thing that ever happened to me ((so far 😛))
You owned my heart, and I owned yours. All these crazy things happening around us but love keeps find its own way back to us.